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We sent a bunch of women a series of questions pertaining to the etiquette of female friendships, as it pertains to dating: Can you date a friend's ex? What if you hate your BFF's current significant other? What's the best way to react to a girlfriend's breakup? The answers we got back were surprisingly universal, and nearly unanimous. Sure, all relationships and friendships are different, but when it comes to navigating dating and female friendships, some rules apply in all situations. Then the other really should help initiate conversation with that person, and once the ice is broken, immediately extricate herself from the situation. If this means keeping the Ugly Friend engaged in conversation, then so be it.
This did not go over well and she went off on me saying she hated me and wanted me to die. Well this was a week ago and I have not heard from her since. I have been seeing her best friend for the past 2 weeks and met her through my ex 5 months ago.
The day I met Jessica I knew I liked her and was physically and mentally attracted to her. We never did any thing while I was with my ex and never cheated.
When I broke up with my ex I went out to eat and ran into jessica at dinner. We ended up hanging out that night and then hooked up. We have been together ever since and I am really happy. Until 3 days ago I felt bad cause they are close. Jessica always liked me and did not understand why I was with my ex. She would see how she treated me and would shake her head.
She said she wished we would have met before my ex and I did and wish things were different. Well now they are and here we are seeing one another. She is my age and not 13 years older. I do not feel bad anymore cause jessica was the one that showed me all the texts my ex had sent about talking to this other guy.
Jessica was the one who had told me that my ex had been talking to him for a while and complained about being with me all the time. When I saw that text from my ex all the feeling bad and worries went out the door. I do not care anymore and what my ex and I had is gone! I was never in love with this woman and am happy where I am at now.
My question is what should I be concerned about between these two? I guess the worst that can happen is they stop talking and thats that. Has anyone had this happen and do you have any suggestions?
Sorry this was so long but It feels good to get off my chest, even if it is to a bunch of people I do not know. Who ever read this, thank you!
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Making a relationship work is tough enough, but what if your best friend had history—messy history—with your new boyfriend or girlfriend? Could you handle the bad blood between the two most important people in your life?
Or are you constantly worrying that something is still going on between people who claim their past is behind them? If you appear between the ages of 16 and 30, submit your story, complete with contact info and a picture to: datingex mtv. The friend and I were not very close at all and she had broken up with him and had turned lesbian fornreasons not involving him.
Number one rule of girl code is that you DO NOT communicate with, flirt with 5) You are never in any case to date a friends ex or a guy who she was really into. or dumped your friend is is exceptional for you to claim he isn't good enough. When it comes to dating your friend's ex, most of us know “The Code.” It's that Girl Code that contains the unspoken rule that dating your friend's ex is now 40 years old and your best friend is married to another amazing guy?. Learn when you can and can't try to date your friend's ex. It's not always a Despite what girl code might say, it's not always so black and white. I'm not saying.
And it was. Now, I recently broke up with the same guy about a month ago. One week later, he and my best friend start hanging out at his apartment and going to the movies. THAT is something you do not do. My boyfriend and I just broke up a month ago after several years together. I am not happy about the breakup, but we both have some things to work through before a relationship is really going to work in terms of a life partnership. Last year, he and I met a friend who was sad and lonely, and I befriended her to try to make her feel welcome in a new town.
Incidentally, she is eleven years younger than me. We did things with her as a couple, and she even came to a birthday party my ex threw for me a few months before we broke up. Now, less than a month later, she is pursuing my ex. His ex happens to be an acquaintance of mine, I think they dated for about 2 years and were actually engaged.
The unspoken rules of girl code imply that it's basically never OK to date your friend's ex, especially your best friend's former boyfriend. What's the best way to react to a girlfriend's breakup? questions pertaining to the etiquette of female friendships, as it pertains to dating: Can you date a friend's ex? Exclusive: The Women of Girl Code Talk Dating Losers. Girl code is complicated but one thing is not: you don't date your .. So I don't like the idea of dating my best friend's ex, but I did it, and she is.
I liked this guy a lot and told my best friend about it then she started talking to eachother and dated! But it was only for two weeks, thats not a real relationship. I told him at homecoming and he said he likes me too. But my opinion is girl code is stupid. Screw all of u who are dating ur friends ex. Its wrong special when it makes everyone uncomfrotable. I will never understand it. I also feel as though, if you really have that close of a friendship, why in the world would you let a guy come between that.
I believe letting a guy come between you and a friend is also against girl code, as well, so…. So me and my boyfriend have been dating since 2. She was mad for about 2 days, and then said she was sorry for saying that I ended their relationship.
I guess it all depends on how much your friend liked this ex, and if they still have feelings for them.
Well, I should say ex best friend. He told me he liked me ever since the first day hes layed eyes on me. He broke up with me because I was texting other guys.
He told me hes never been that sad before. She hasent talked to me since she found out he kissed me on our one month? It did ruin my friendship and I do have a lot of guilt, but there are other factors going into it. She cheated on him for 6 months prior while he was away on duty… and she stopped hanging out with me because she had some new friends and she never told me about this other guy.
I think of her all the time and I feel sad for her. However, this man is my soulmate and am head over heels in love. I also knew him for 5 years. So we have a great friendship as well. I think if she cheated…then this rule is null and void!
She did a no no as much as I did. Live and let live. Life is too short to live by these rules, but it is a huge risk and sacrifice in losing your friend. On top of that is a long distance relationship and I only see him on weekends. It has caused some massive stress, even more because him and I are an hour apart.
But I am very happy with him and reguardless of what other people may think, we are happy. I am in this dilemma right now. My friend who i fight a lot with dated this guy i liked since freshman year, and they dated for two years, but recently broke up. I have NO idea what to do. So complicated! I would never date my friends ex. One of my friends brought up the idea of dating my ex who i was with for a year serious and before that we were together on and off for 2 years. I would never be able to be friends with this girl again if she started dating my ex, because you couldnt have a normal friendship it would be weird talking boys and knowing that oh yah he does that or oh he did that with me.
Breaking “The Code”: Is It Ever Okay To Date Your Friend’s Ex?
Like most people when they break up it still leaves some feelings and i know that i will always have the stupid girly feelings towards him and would feel like there was a stab in the back if my friend started dating him.
I agree with nicole. They hooked up on the sly to everyone. And I was cool to remain friends with both after that. My spidey senses kicked in. Friendships did not make it. I was considered just jealous.
More confirmation that they were not worthy of being my friend. Still have to deal with both of them. She still works with me but I am not her boss, thank god. She got quickly divorced. I may be crazy but some well-time considerate communication in there somewhere could have saved a few friendships and a LOT of confusion for my son!
One of my friends from college dated my ex behind my back. She lied about it and other friends covered it up. Low and behold, they just got married. So I have known this guy since diapers. I met his ex of only a month being broken up. Now I work with her shes my client and I play ball with her… However if u were to ask friendship status Id say I was truthfully a great friend to her.
It all depends on the friend. Mine was totally cool with it and told me to go for him. If your friend is a true friend, she should be supportive of wherever your heart leads you. I agree with most of your friends points but I also see where your coming from. Or even invite her? This is eleventy thousand percent too close to home this week. To me, the only thing it would depend on is how close I am to the friend, and how serious I was about the guy. I had two friends that stopped talking over this, but the girl that dated the friends ex ended up marrying him.
The friendship was ruined, but now the other girl is engaged so I feel like it all worked out for the best. I agree there are always exceptions, but for the most part I am all for the rule!! My friend dated my ex a few years back. I was really upset at the time despite the fact me and him had only been going out for three months and I had been the one who had ended it.
The upset more came from the fact that I wanted him out of my life, and now he was still going to be around. Despite this, they ended up going out for three years before it ended and now, four or five years on from the break-up, he is still obsessed with her.
I guess it would depend how much I liked a guy and how good a friend the friend was. It would be gutting, especially since I so rarely meet guys I connect with. I think it entirely depends on the situation, the people, etc. For me, what it boils down to is how much I value that friendship. If it was the ex of one of my very best friends then no, thats entirely off limits.
I have several friends who wound up marrying a guy someone else dated. Anyway, I have a story about this whole thing. Ask me about it next time you see me. This probably sounds weird, but I originally tried to set my husband up with my best friend. Ew, I know. They totally tanked, but by them being together for that week, I got to know him even better, and we realized that we liked each other more than he or I!
Girl code dating your best friends ex
Oh MAN, this has happened to me! It ended our friendship. To me? I agree with most. It really depends on how serious the relationship was. A friend of mine dated a guy I used to date when I was a freshman in college. Sucks that things have to be so analytical in life.
If one of my friends started to date the chickenshit disappearing ex, I would say best of luck. I have a lot of hang-ups with ex business. My first boyfriend, who I started dating right after high school graduation, had previously dated a school friend of mine. They had a very dramatic breakup. Turns out I should have learned from her mistake, because although we were together for a year, he kind of ruined my first year of college.
Aquaintances though… I went to a small college, things happen. Would I date a guy that my friend had two dates with and really was no longer interested in? Would I date a guy that my friend had a relationship with? I met her at a party through one of my college acquaintances, since i was new to DC she took me under her wing and we started hanging out.
"One of my sisters once dated my ex," she said. do her very best to abide by the Girl Code, the first rule of which is not to date your friend's ex. One girl does something to another, and the "Girl Code" card is pulled. . My best friend and I tag team who is DD and who gets to drink. So do not talk to her ex, text her ex, snapchat her ex, flirt with her ex, hook up with her.
Then she introduced me to hubs, because she was still hanging on to what they had had he broke up with her in Dec, him and i started dating in september. I still get the heeby jeebies about him dating her, even though her and i were never besties or anything and i had only known her about a month longer than him.
It all really depends on the situation, but i would have never pursued a guy that one of my besties dated or hooked up with. Hmm its a tricky one! Where I originally come from in Scotland, everyone has to date everyones friends as there are just not enough people to go around unless you move to the mainland! However it is definitely on a case by case basis.
When I was in High School and probably University you totally stuck by the guy rule otherwise all your friends would turn on you. I did have a fling with an ex of my friends and it didnt work out because I felt too awkward having feelings for him. Thankfully I never told my friend. However now that we are all older and if my friend met an ex of mine I think I would be ok.
The only one I couldnt deal with is my first love who absolutely broke my heart! Anything in between would be fine with me. I agree with one comment earlier on is you just have to ask your friend and see how she feels. Sometime in the early s, my grandmother went on a double date. Her mother was excited her date went so well. And you know what?What's the "girl code" to dating your best friend's Ex?"
Clearly, these issues transcend generational differences. But, for me, at the end of the day, what matters is whether it still matters to my friend. End of story.
One of my best friends dated a guy very seriously all through high school, then right before college they broke up and she started dating his best friend.
So obviously it worked for her. I think only you can know in your heart if it is worth it or not. Unless you value your relationship with a guy more than your friendship, respect that your friend may not be thrilled you want to start dating her ex.
On the other hand, it may matter to your friend or even yourself, so tread carefully if that's the path you're choosing to take. Better yet, if she's in another relationship and is seriously in love, it's doubtful she'll care too much if you want to date her ex.
If this is the case, and your friend is still concerned, it's best to stay away from the ex. Her hesitation is for a good reason. If you and your friend don't regularly talk face-to-face, your dating habits may not get in the way of this friendship. Of course, there are exceptions to every guideline, but a purely online friendship shouldn't hold the same precedence as an in-person one. If you're looking for a hookup, your friend's ex is not the right place to look. He may be six feet of pure eye candy, but diving into the messy relationship of a casual hookup isn't a good idea for you, him, or your friend.
Going after a friend's ex could very easily complicate your friendship. If your relationship with this friend really matters to you, it's best to stay away from exes altogether.