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When you fall in love, it's natural to want to express your love in physical ways. But you also know God wants you to remain sexually pure—in both your actions and your thoughts. Sometimes it's a tough balance, but showing love for another while remaining pure is possible. Here are some suggestions:. Rather than making the innocent expressions a mere prelude to the "heavier stuff," make the most of them.
I, too, had to learn to overcome some mistakes I made early in my dating career. I have included links to the other articles after this post for you to research and incorporate.
Begin with the understanding that sex is not considered a recreational sport by the Lord, subject to cultural trends and media-influenced values. Sex was created to form a permanent spiritual bond between a husband and wife, in the context of a sacred, legitimate, and legal union upheld by a covenant.
Throughout our entire year and half dating relationship, no one that we were close with stopped to ask us how we were doing with staying pure. 3 Ways to Pursue Purity in Your Dating Relationship, Eric Giesow - Read paranoid on staying pure that they draw too much attention to purity. Summer is finally, officially, Memorial-Day-weekend here. The sun's out longer, your dopamine levels are higher, and you're ready for summer.
Overlay your understanding of the place marriage holds with God with an understanding that God forgave your past sexual failures. Value and respect your date as a child of God.
Plan to get home at a reasonable hour! Stay vertical, upright.
In the same spirit, avoid activities—whether together, alone, or with other friends—that will fill your mind with carnal themes and heighten your sexual arousal. Be sure to work on all aspects of your relationship to diffuse the typical fixation on physical intimacy. Hobbies, skills, new challenges, gifts, talents, ministry and personal goals, conflict resolution, and communication skills are all necessary facets for developing a solid and interesting friendship on the spiritual foundation of Christ.
Go through at least one book on Christian dating, perhaps even a pre-marital workbook, together. Go to church regularly. Participate in ministry together. Serving together in a shared ministry will increase your awareness of the world around you and dilute your focus on each other. Do more group activities than alone-together activities, especially if physical intimacy is becoming a distraction.
This would involve breaking off all communications for an agreed amount of time to seek the Lord and His direction and strength as well as consult others to restart the relationship on a clean note.
Have accountability partners, both individually and as a couple. As your relationship becomes serious and focused on marriage, have a married couple mentor you together. And do not discount the wisdom and support that comes from premarital counseling. Focus on the ultimate goal of making it the altar free of guilt and shame and with a testimony that pleases God and encourages and blesses others.
Dating and staying pure
Ten tips to stay chaste. Bonos, Lisa. Spring has sprung, so does this mean love is in the air? Foster, David Kyle. Covenant: The heart of the marriage mystery. Gregoire, Sheila. Why I wished I had stayed pure before marriage.
Article for To Love, Honor, and Vacuum website. Article for Newspolls. Hutchcraft, Ron.
Article for Christianity Today website. Jones, J. They met, fell in love, dated and waited until they were married to have sex. There seemed to be a special connection between them that made me wonder, How did they do it? And that seems to be where many Christians fall short. You need a game plan: a set of ideas, attitudes and actions that will help you glorify God and safeguard your relationship from premarital sex.
God created us as sexual beings.
Staying pure in a relationship can be done! when it comes to being single and then dating, living a pure life is one of the major factors. Q: “My girlfriend and I are Christians but we are sexually active. We know we are in the wrong and that God's teaching tells us to be pure and. ?3 Tips To Stay Sexually Pure While Dating. It wasn't easy for my husband and I when we were dating, but we learned a few things. by Katie.
Genesis tells us that He made humans both male and female in His own image. So, sexual desire is a big deal to us, because it was first a big deal to God.Save Yourself for Marriage: 5 Lies About Sexual Purity Many Christians Believe
We spend too much, we eat too much and it seems as though our sexual appetites have no limits. For advice on this, I checked in with Dr. She has studied Christian sex therapy for the last four years. In reality, our sexuality is only a small piece of who we are. When our sexual selves are the focus, we lose who we are as whole people. McCleese says.
But you also know God wants you to remain sexually pure—in both your actions and your thoughts. Sometimes it's a You do not own the person you're dating. How to date and stay pure When I typed out these words as an idea for an article on abstinence, I realized this was a difficult topic to get.
Truth is, even in marriage, you have to rein in your sexual desire and allow it to be fulfilled with your spouse in a loving consensual encounter. Part of dating and learning to bring your sexual desire under submission is simply training ground for marriage. Every couple needs someone who will speak into their relationship.
Accountability partners can rob temptation of its power. When I asked my friends about their relationships, it quickly became clear that the couples I knew who saved sex for marriage had one thing in common: They had accountability partners or mentors.
Case in point: Jason and Danielle Peaks. Both in their 20s, they dated for a year before getting married, and they found that talking about their relationship with people they trusted made all the difference.
We had my parents check in on us many times. We also had a few couples that we spent time with who would prod into our situation. So he knew eyes were on him, which he believes helped him stay accountable. As the leader in a dating relationship, a man has an important responsibility when it comes to making and keeping a game plan with his girlfriend. The primary way of doing this is by initiating conversations about physical boundaries and casting a vision for a relationship that honors Christ.
15 Tips to Stay Pure While Waiting and Dating Without Mating
Viticus Thomas, one half of the married couple behind Dating and Waiting, a ministry that promotes abstinence, advises young men to not make sex a focal point, but to instead point the relationship in a better direction. One way a man can do this is by paying attention to the kinds of dates he plans. Jason Peaks agrees that a relationship out in the open helped him and Danielle stay pure.
No laying or lounging on couches or beds.
When temptation arose, Jason says he showed leadership by taking 2 Timothy literally. Obviously, much of abstinence is about each person having self-control.
For some that means avoiding sexually charged movies, books, television and anything else that puts you in the mood. Some couples are mindful of the words they say to each other or how they sit with each other i.